A place for my head...

12 years ago I was so in my own world i decided to make my own language. Created my own writings, my own dictionary, my own vocabulary and my own words, mainly because, they were things that has no form in this very world. It was a time of rebellion, I was living in my own world. Apparently I shut myself out from everyone else. Now the urge is back again, feeling so much so like those times. I feel like shutting down again. It's so hard to express myself to the world, I am not even bothered if anyone would understand me, there were no literal words to describe the feelings in the first place. People have their own ways of letting themselves out. Apparently mine is back to the world inside of me. Everyone has their own skeleton in the closet. I have mine, I don't express it out, I don't think about it, but its there. Slowly I am becoming the world I live in now, I am slowly losing myself becoming like everyone else. I am always yearning for love and freedom, in my own world, I could scream all i want I could imagine all the things i want, best of all i control everything about it but no matter what, its a world alone. Its the place my ideas flow from... I hate being watched, like the vultures circling around you waiting for you to fall. Every time it reaches a certain point in my life, I feel like I have expose too much of my weakness to the world. I need to go back to my space to grow. Sometimes it felt like there is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, it could not be converged in anger nor by physical expression. Call me crazy, say that I have issues but this is how i distress. Sometimes I wished that someone would just stumble into my world. Sometimes i wish i could let it out to someone. It would never be as easy as "Let me tell you a story about myself...". People have problems that they could describe, i could understand and feel the situation of it, but for mine, i cant. Sometimes things get so blurry, i cant even tell if my issues are there or not.