I know you're reading this. I even know your new blog address, it's not like you left a clue or anything. It somehow just appears in an old link from the blog settings. Knowing about it, still always kept me curious. The are still things that doesn't change about me to you. I know, lingering in the pasts affects everyone around, I don't wish to be the person that interferes with another person's future dream and hope. Just like how mine was, affected. It may or may not matter to you, I can't help myself from holding back. There are feelings within me that does not seem to fade. I know if I don't hold back, I would do things that... would most likely ruin the norm of your life. I know my limitations, the best I could do is to pretend, I never existed. Somehow the distance, it frustrates to know that we exist but because of the separation,in a way it's affecting us in ways we refuse to admit. There are important events and dates between as, I admit, it invokes the memories between us, the happy and the sad. At times I wish there was an alternate ending. It's frustrating. It's a difficult feeling. I don't know how you feel about it. I wish you're not going through this. Although, these kind of feelings makes me feel that it's better to pretend I never existed. Not by logic or reasoning. I wish I could explain and do better. And deal with it better. I'm just no good for it.

Deep down in my heart, I do wish to tell you. I miss you. Not because of the past but because I really do miss you as the person you are. Other than being silent, I don't know how else I should be.