Hello... the "Black Hole" in my heart... I see you again. You remind me of what I was and of who I am not and what I do not have. You always remind of cruel times of when I needed the peace of mind. Why do you always have to be the void in my heart? I know, I know... I am not like everyone else... They had their perfect timing, they had everything they wanted for without even needing to go through the rollercoaster ride. I know I could never get rid of you until the end of this life. You kept sucking the living life out of me...I best my ways to get distracted and rid you off my mind. As soon as I sat alone, you strike me.
All in all you kept bringing up things of the past, memories kept spiraling in my head as soon as I close my eyes. Why this torment? Yes I made my mistake, I am a human after all. I just wanted to get over what I have done and live again. Day by day, all I ever felt was the yearning to stand again from where I fall. Your very existence made me wish as if I am a robot. So as long as I do not think or feel human, you're not there. I am not tormented. I don't have to curl my self indulging in depression.
I don't have to put up a mask and shy away from the living shadows I meet everyday.
You are the source of my loneliness. You are like a best of friend I wish I ever had, the one that knew what I am feeling. And you are like the enemy, the prison warden, day by day you imprison my mind in free times... poisoning me with the void in you.
Everyday, I exhaust myself to get rid you being in my mind.
