Perhaps, things were made complicated by me and kept focusing on minor things that conflicts with things that are much more important. Probably it's the fear and insecurity in me towards people, situation and time has made me so petty. In the midst of disappointment, we tend to close our hearts to people around us, isn't it? I know I have been rejecting people around me mentally and I no longer hold any faith in them. Disappointment is something caused over time, not by a single action. A person's deed and act should not be judge and felt instantly but to see and understand the person entirely. Yeah, I've seen the selfishness of people around me. I do have my own sets of selfishness in me. All these while I have defined people as accordingly in similarities. Perhaps it's a good time to undefine and start to know the people around again one by one. In the dark and absent mind of times, it's really a good wake up call to start to catch up with the ones close to me.

"It's a blessing and honor to be a blessing unto others."

Yes, I do need the attention and love, of which I do lack much. But regardless of what, this is not something I can give for myself. But have faith in those who come across your path. For the person who broke our heart and disappoint us. God has put their presence in our lives for specific reason. Regardless of what's done or happen. It's been yesterday. Forgiveness is a blessing that we choose to give to ourselves. Not something we can try to give to others. It's always easier to walk feel the hatred, anguish and dissatisfaction but the fruit it bears is a very horrible one.

"I've seen enough, how bitterness takes it's toll on me, how it changed me and how it becomes a negative energy in me. It's enough, let's not decline anymore."

 God knows what's best for me and what I wanted the most. I want to be with someone who understands me and just like me, always seeking to improve each other's life. It's always about nurturing each other. Striving to grow mentally. Someone who can together paint a beautiful picture with me. The year's coming to an end. Perhaps it's a good year full of lessons. It's good to calm down and reflect on it. I don't want to just feel positive with positive facts in my mind. I want to bring in the positive energy into lives around! Over the month's it has been a long struggle with my own self, to feel right again. It sure is tough. But I've come this far and wide, we can work this right!