Been working till midnight ever since last week. I could basically feel the strain on my chest. Work's not done and I can't seem to let go of my responsibility. I don't know why, the things she said rings in my head. She said "You're not learning to let go. It's not fair to whoever that comes next. It will just strain and burn you out. At the same time hurting her...". I do wonder, I got pretty worked up about "that" incident. I had to admit it was a bad blow for me. It hit me so low that, I can't live a day without being affected by it. It been so many months now. Whatever that happens, happened. I knew all along the theory of it all. "What's happen, happened. No matter how I react now, doesn't matter anymore. The damage has been done. Nobody could turn back time. No need to make it all worst than it has already been." ... But I can't seem to get my logic right over my feelings. As much as I would love to change her life, giving her strength and hope. In the end, time reveals that it's myself that was the fallen one. In reality, I'm the one that's lost and broken.

Even up till now, am I doing it right? I don't know. Feels as if I'm still lying to myself. In the darkest days of my life, I've always expected help to come. Someone to save me from myself. I really do wish she was there... All the lies that I told myself. All my imagination blurring the reality of it all. All the anger, all the dissatisfaction. I know, I've reached the point of destruction. I had to leave. It's best I leave. I can't control my feelings. I hope he treats her well.

I'd really like to clarify things with myself. I must let go. For the greater good. My mood fluctuates so badly. It's not for nobody around to take any of it.