2011 has ended and could things get any more worst than it has been? To simply define it, it's rather challenging, emotional and full of inquest for self searching. Sure enough I've made plenty, plenty of mistakes, many were in the grasp of my choice and some were unintentional. I could've definitely done better, not in terms of choice but in the ways of my reaction towards what has happened. Things could've been better and situations could've changed. I am vowing to myself, not to make mistakes like these in the mere future. I've lived almost 1/3rd of my lifetime. I am definitely not certain of how long I would be alive but we are only 24 once and I am soon to be 25. As it has been said, past 25 years old, you start to decay and die from the inside. A countdown to our timely death. I am glad to have learnt this much about Love, Life, Relationship, People, Society and most importantly, about myself. Being put in situations beyond comprehension, I admit, I do struggle in most of it, I am thankful that in the midst of it all, I could still keep a cool head to evaluate. Sounds triumphant but honestly speaking, I've lost faith in being in a relationship, and I'm on an avalanche of unknown depths, I do not know when I will reach the rock bottom, but I can't deny the fact of crashing.
I do wanna thank a special few, people that came in the later part of the year, silently making their presence felt as I tried to make it through the hard emotional times. Thanks a lot for keeping me occupied with your life. Sorry that I am still lost within myself.
To end it all, I can't deny the fact that there was someone special that I do wish to cherish. Things didn't turn out right. Many many things has happened, bitter sweet memories of it all. Most definitely it's not the kind of situation that is easy to move on from but... but it's probably the only solution. I chose "Silence" over it all. At least, I won't be the source of pain anymore. And most definitely, I don't wish to be the past that stood between the future. I rather deny my own existence and give up, than to ever being caught in between again.
Closing the chapter of 2011.
