You might think you know me, but in reality I don’t exist in fairy tales nor in TV drama. I am just one of the colours that you don’t see in everyday life. I don’t really care about how your past would affect your present. It is not my duty to even judge you, it is God’s. If you needed mental support I am willing to help and accompany. I myself know is that I am kinda frustrated at life and events that are happening in my life, truth be told I really don’t know how to deal with it either. I really don’t wish to be the kind that would release their anger on thing and on people. I have my bad days too, so does everyone else. And when everyone goes through it they just wished that someone understands. It gets really tiring to keep telling others of what we go through on and on and on. We just want to let those who matters to us most know about it all hoping they would understand. Someone would understand what we go through. I have always wished some one would understand. But no, such people rarely exist. I’ve personally given up. I know how hard it is to go through emotional dissaray. I really don’t know how to even put it in words. I only wish for someone who would welcome me with her arms, and kept me in them. Someone whom I can always go back to. I have so much to pour out from my heart.
All I have wanted to look for is life’s team mate. Someone I could grow old and grow strong together. Someone that I can be together with enjoying God’s gift to us. Someone that would always be there to cheer for me, to encourage to me be a better person. Someone that would treat me as person than a possesion.
But for now I really do hope, to stop feeling negative. I have too much self pity. I always feel unimportant, when I needed them the most. Somethings has to happen, im always left to face it all alone. When bad things happen to me I tend to reject the whole world. I don’t know when or where I stand in people's heart. Only when I fall only people start to show their concern. I may look strong from the outside, but on the inside I felt lonely. My inner self has already collapsed. My faith in everything is depleting day by day. I don't know what more I am doing to over come these. I’m trying hard to live another day and hopefully rebuild myself. Everything that I believed , everything that I hoped for over all these years is only to be understood. I only wish I am as understandable as words could be.
I just can't wait to break myself away from this city and it's life. I just wanna got to a quiet place close my eyes and listen to what my heart has to say.
